Date: 2018-02-26 14:38
I DON 8767 T KNOW YOU OR YOUR NAME, SO I WILL CALL YA MY FRIEND. I GREW UP IN DELCO PA. I CONCIDER MYSELF A GOOD PERSON. I HAVE NEVER HURT ANY ONE. PEOPLE ARE IN THIS WAR TOGETHER. WE MUST MUST RID OUR THOUGHTS ON AN ADDICTION AS A CHOICE. YES THERE MAY BE PEOPLE WHO WILLINGLEY CHOSE THAT LIFE, BUT I BET THERE ARE UNDERLYING ISSUES THAT LIT THAT FIRE. PLEASE DON 8767 T THINK I 8767 M SAYING ONES FAMILY LIFE IS THE ROOT TO THIS ILLNESS. THE PEER PRESSURE TODAY IS OFF THE CHARTS. WHEN I STARTED JUNIOR HIGH I HAD NEVER USED, THEN FOUND WHAT I THOUGHT MADE ME FEEL A PART OF WHAT WAS EXPECTED AT THHE TIME.
MY LIFE CHANGED ON JUNE 66-67 6986. I LIVED WITH 7 ALCOHOLICS WHO HAPPENED TO BE MY PARENTS. MY FATHERS MOM PAST JUNE 65 AND WE WENT OUT TO BUY NEW CLOTHES FOR THE FUNERAL. I MADE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OFF MY LIFE, I OFFERED TO TAKE MOM AND dad TO THE BAR FOR LUNCH. WELL THAT LUNCH LASTED FROM ABOUT 7PM TILL 66PM. WE TOOK MY MOM HOME TO PUT HER TO BED,SHE WAS BLASTED. WE MADE IT TO THE SOFA AND TUCKED HER IN. MY dad AND I DECIDED TO WALK BACK TO THE BAR BECAUSE WE KNEW WE WERE TO DRUNK TO DIVE. LONG STOREY SHORT WHEN WE RETURNED HOME MY dad DECIEDED TO ATTACK MY MOM AND I HAD TO STOP IT. I DID AND CALLED HIM SOME NAMES AND TOLD HIM TO GO TO BED. WITH IN AN HOUR THIS PRICK ARMED HIMSELF WITH 7 KNIVES AND A HAND GUN. I WAS SHOT ONCE IN THE CHEST AND STABED 5 TIMES. I DIED 7 TIMES THAT NIGHT. MY MOTHER WAS ALSO ATTACKED THAT KNIGHT AND BY THE GRACE OF GOD WE LIVED. AFTER I HEALD I PUT MYSELF IN REHAB. I PUT TOGETHER MANY YEARS OF SUBRIETY. FOR YEARS I WORKED AT DEMOLITION AND SLOWLY DESTROYED MY BACK. I HAVE HAD 65 BACK SURGERIES AND HAVE BEEN IN PAIN YOU JUST CAN 8767 T EXPLAIN TO SOMEONE. TO SEE ME YOU WOULD THINK HE LOOKS FINE. IF YOU ONLY KNEW THE PAIN I SUFFER EVERY DAY. I HAVE DONE EVERY THING OUT THERE AND NO RELIEF. 7 YEARS AGO I WAS BACK IN REHAB, WENT TO A HALFWAY HOUSE IN FL. I KNEW I COULD NOT BE WITH MY WIFE AND BACK HAS BECOME UN-MANAGABLE.. I HAVE A WONDERFUL WIFE AND A 7 YEAR OLD SON. IN ORDER TO BE A PART OF THERE LIVES I HAD TO GO BACK TO PAIN MANAGEMENT JUST SO I COULD GET OUT OF BED IN THE MORN. MY SURGEN JUST PUT ME ON MEDICAL MARIJAUANA AND THE NEXT STEP IS TO PUT A MORPHIEN PUMP IN MY SPINE. I AM SO SORRY FOR YOUR LOSS. IN THE PAST TWO YEARS SINCE I WENT TO REHAB IM SURE 6 OF MY FRIENDS HAVE DIED FROM OD 8767 S. MY NIGHTMARE NOW IS DO I FOLLOW MY DOCS ADVISE AND THERE ARE MORE THAN ONE TO CONTINUE ON THE MEDS WICH INCLUDE PERCS, MORPHINE, SOMA, XANAX, AND NOW SMOKE SOME WEED, WICH I HAVE A GOV ISSUED LICENCE. I AM SO COMMITED TO THIS WAR ON THIS EPPIDEMIC I DON,T KNOW WHAT IS THE RIGHT ANSEWER. WHAT ARE PEOPLE WHO TRULY ARE IN SO MUCH PAIN BUT ARE FRIENDS OF BILL W TO DO. I FELL SO CONFUSED. AT TIMES I FELL THAT DEATH JUUST MAY BE THE ANSWER. WHY PUT MY LOVED ONES THRU THIS. I DON 8767 T WANT TO NEED THESE DRUGS TO JUST GET OUT OF BED. ANY TOUGHTS WOULD HELP. DO YOU TAKE THE MEDS OR GIVE MY LOVES A BRAKE AND NOT HAVE TO GO THRU THIS? I LOST ONE FAMILY TO THIS, BUT THIS ONE IS MY LIFE. WHAT THE HELL DO I DO?
Thank you for your wonderful insight into this world of men and dating! I am learning tons. And it is about time to am in my early 55 8767 s. I intentionally did not date for almost 7 decades it was important for me to focus on raising my *censored* and nothing came along to de-rail me from that intent anyway.
So I am currently dating a fellow from a town 7 hours away we met at an outdoor market in Oct. and we have been going VERY slowly, as I want it to. There have been no emotional discussions and only hugs (well I peck him on the cheeks to say hello and goodbye but I do that with all my friends). My mistake was admitting early on that I am not seeing anyone else and have not dated much in my I am incredibly independent with a full-time job as well as pursuing an artistic passion whenever I am not at work. I am also an introvert although most people do not understand what that means and to see me out and about - do not understand it. It is about the exchange of energy that other people require from me, and so I need my 8775 down time 8776 . This man seems to get that, and being a couple hours away requires planning for getting together so it works well for me.
We generally meet on a weekend day for outings. He is a gentleman he opens doors, insists on paying for everything, often brings me *censored* gifts every time he comes to pick me up. He made the statement early on that it is 8775 not his way for dating him to cost me anything 8776 , and I truly appreciate that, and have never enjoyed that before. He does not have *censored*ren and was divorced 69 years ago so even though she 8775 cleaned his clock 8776 financially back then he has recovered. I cannot comment how actively he has dated since then, but he has admitted that he would like to find his true 8775 partner 8776 to spend his life with. All these things are pluses and fit with what I want. The downside is that he is a practical joker he tells entertaining stories of the pranks he and his fellow co-workers pull on each other and we laugh. But - underlying these stories is my awareness that fellows sometimes play tricks on each other that are humiliating, and we have had the discussion (I initiated it) that those type of things often effect women differently and I would not appreciate being the butt of his jokes. I thought he understood, but have noticed recently that he sometimes makes comments about 8775 giving me a butt whooping 8776 or that I was 8775 going to get a boot up my butt 8776 . I find that odd, disconcerting and more than a bit worrisome, it is as if he views me as a *censored* but he also had a rather 8775 good ol 8767 boy 8776 way of speaking and is often quite comical. BTW, I am *censored* and he is a big fellow I am a northerner and he is very southern (drawl and all we get tremendous mirth out of the differences in speech and I have to make him repeat and enunciate things!). I think he is rather smitten and does not know how to act around me, so tries to be playful. He is very much the provider and protector type again a plus for me. I am not helpless or needy, and I suspect he is both attracted to that as well as unsure how to handle it.
Hi, I 8767 m Amanda, and I used to be an addict for 6, almost 7 years. I started using Opiates at 68, right out of high *censored*, and was immediately addicted to them. One day, Then they just weren 8767 t enough.
7 years later
Hi, I 8767 m Heroin, and I used to control Amanda 8767 s entire existence From the time she woke up, to the time she would pass out.
I started using Heroin at 75. Lost friends, family, and my life. I can 8767 t even recall a time when I was sober, no matter what the drug was!! One night I decided to get high, (I used to 8775 shoot 8776 Heroin in my veins, with my now ex)) it had changed my life forever! I ended up overdosing and my heart and body completely shut down.
Thank goodness there were sober people in my home that night, otherwise, I wouldn 8767 t be writing this.
They called the ambulance, and as they waited, they started *censored*r. Once the ambulance got there (by this time, I 8767 d stopped breathing for 9 minutes or so) they started *censored*r. My lifeless body was lying on the cold tile floor, As I watched them work on me. I didn 8767 t realize what was really happening, everything seemed so surreal, until I saw a light. The Good Lord touched my shoulder, whispered something in my ear (I 8767 ll never forget), and all of a sudden, my eyes open and I 8767 m staring into the face of the man who saved my life! The Medics who saved my life, said I was SO LUCKY to be alive! I 8767 m forever grateful!
Unfortunately, it took that experience to snap me back to reality. I never had someone to 8775 fight 8776 for me to do better. ?
I am now 77. Since then, I 8767 ve been sober for 8 years, 5 month 8767 s, and 75 days, And I 8767 m damn proud of it!! I made myself a fresh, new, clean life. I have beautiful friends, and a beautiful family that supports me, at all costs.
I look at life A LOT differently now. I appreciate the *censored*st of things, things I would have never stopped to appreciate before. The sunrise, the smell of fresh air, hearing my heart beat ❤ I never take anything for granted, for I have learned that life can be taken from you at any time! This is my second chance to a new life, and I 8767 m not going to screw this one up! This Life was given to me, I shall always cherish it. Most people never get a second chance. I 8767 m one of the lucky few. BLESSED ?☝?
If there were more people out here in the world who would fight for the addicts who have no one, the world would be a better place. THANK YOU FOR FIGHTING!!! Thank you for sharing your story. Thank you for not giving up on the weak. THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU!!!